


So, what does it mean? If I tell you to go fuck yourself (Or if I say that you're beautiful to me)

by minuteparminute



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: ALSO FUCK I FORGOT, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Eliott Demaury Is an Idiot, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fuckbuddies, Hate to Love, Idriss Bakhellal Is a Good Friend, Imane Bakhellal Is a Good Friend, In case anyone was wondering, Lucas Lallemant Is an Idiot, M/M, Oh also, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Texting, Yann Cazas Is a Good Friend, btw this isnt entirely a social media or texting au, like 18-19, really can't stand each other, so they're friends but yk, sorta at a point, they just, they're all kinda around the same age, well not enemies per se, wink wonk, you'll know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-07-29 13:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20082922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minuteparminute/pseuds/minuteparminute
Summary: The one where Lucas and Eliott hate each other's guts.(Everyone else is frankly tired of their bullshit.)





	So, what does it mean? If I tell you to go fuck yourself (Or if I say that you're beautiful to me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**yann:** look lu_   
_**yann:** i know considering ur history w eli its gonna be anythn but easy to be around him_   
_**yann:** but idk maybe this can be a new chapter for u?_   
_**yann:** its time u two put ur past behind and move on yeah?_   
_**yann:** bc not a damn thing in the world can convince me that u two hate each other i dont buy it_   
_**arthur:** wig_   
_**basile:** i agree w yann lu_   
_**arthur:** me too like u guys still are close friends whether u like it or not yk_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **NOTE:** this chapter is badly formatted bc my internet broke and i couldnt update my draft so i had to use word n shit lol i promise future chapters will be consistently formatted mwah xx
> 
> **UPDATE:** i managed to fix it! google docs is my baby<3 but yeah sorry anyways :D

** _13 november 2018, 5:34pm_ **

** _the boyssss_ **

**megadick:** Y'ALL BETTER BE AT YANN’S PARTY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

**mamabear:** :3

**annoyingasfuck:** i dont think i can make it :/ also arthur change my name

**megadick:** what u say

**annoyingasfuck:** i said change my name

**megadick:** before that u egg

**annoyingasfuck:** i dont think i can make it

**megadick:** :)

**themyththelegend:** heard daphne is gonna come too

**annoyingasfuck:** oh shit just realised my work's day after and not tomorrw okay i'll come yann

**megadick:** i FUCKDINN KNEW IT THIS CURSTY ASS VITCH I CANT BLEIEV YO BAASILEDKM

**chokeme:** who changed my name

**megadick:** me bitch

**cocklaoui:** change our names arthur this is so confusing

**megadick:** no

**themyththelegend:** these are lowkey funny lol

**megadick:** thank u idriss my only friend

**mamabear:** yeah but fr arthur change them

**megadick:** okayyyy

**annoyingasfuck:** how come u only listen to yann

**megadick:** bc i respect him

**cocklaoui:** WOW

**lucashung:** tf are y’all so LOUD for

**lucashung:** also arthur why are almost all the names related to dick

**mamabear:** u are what u eat

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _mamabear’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _yann_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _annoyingasfuck’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _baz_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _themyththelegend’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _idriss_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _cocklaoui’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _sofiane_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _lucashung’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _lucas_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _chokeme’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _eliott_ **

** _megadick_ ** ** changed ** ** _megadick’s_ ** ** name to ** ** _arthur<3_ **

**baz:** YOOOOOO LULU HOW’VE U BEEN

**eliott:** ugh

**lucas:** good morning to u too asshole

**lucas:** baz heyy

**lucas:** i miss u guys i cant wait to see u

**yann:** aw we miss u too u little nugget

**eliott:** no we dont

**idriss:** shut ur ass up eli just say u want dick and go

**eliott:** thats arthur tho

**arthur<3:** TEA

**lucas:** anyways guys we’re takig off so ill text u once we land

**lucas:** if we don’t die that is

**yann:** DONR SAY SHIT LIKE THAT BIYCH WGAT THE FCJKX

**arthur<3:** lol pussy

**yann:** stfu

**idriss:** have a safe flight lucas

**arthur<3:** YES WE’LL WAIT FOR U<3333333333

**eliott:** no we wont

**sofiane:** can u stfu

**eliott:** no

**idriss:** wow this boy’s denial is deeper than the mariana trench

**arthur<3:** dont know her

** _13 november 2018, 5:42pm_ **

** _eliott_ **

**idriss:** u better behave urself hes coming back after a long ass time don’t ruin it

**eliott:** define behave. not be myself?

**idriss:** right listen up smartass

**idriss:** jsut bc ur too much of a pussy to admit what u feel and decide to take that out in unpleasant ways doesnt mean ill let u

**idriss:** u better not act like a dick in front of him or ill german suplex ur ass to fuckin milan

**eliott:** damn ma is it that serious

**idriss:** fuck u im not joking

**eliott:** idk what u mean but k whatever guess ill just not be myself for some time

**idriss:** whatever u say buddy :D

** _13 november 2018, 6:03pm_ **

** _yann_ **

**arthur:** i miss alexia

**yann:** didnt u say u miss ivan like 30 mins ago

**yann:** u miss all ur exes arthur

**arthur:** what can i say im emotional after all

**yann:** and horny

**arthur:** ya ok lol

**arthur:** see things were never serious w alexia

**arthur:** a one night stand wont hurt anyone

**yann:** hate to break it to u but thats not how relationships work

**yann:** so her gf would probably mind so

**arthur:** sigh

**arthur:** :(

**yann:** cheer up bro you’ll get over it

**arthur:** easy for u to say youve been dating chloe for 3 years

**yann:** thats different

**arthur:** whatvr

** _14 november 2018, 6:17am_ **

** _the boyssss_ **

**lucas:** soooooo who’s picking me up

**arthur:** LULU MADE ITTTTTT IM SO EMOTIONAL

**arthur:** yann u can stop freaking out now

**lucas:** can y’all stop treating me like a child

**yann:** was not

**yann:** but ur back yay

**lucas:** ya lol but i need one of u to pick this ass up

**lucas:** also fuck it s cold???

**arthur:** no shit my tiddies are feelin it today oh boy

**idriss:** idk what to do with this information

**yann:** dont u worry lu! arthur eliott and i are on our way to pick u up

**eliott:** since when

**arthur:** since now bitch

**lucas:** awh thanks u guys

**eliott:** i dont get paid enough for this

**sofiane:** u dont get paid for a lotta things but here we are

**yann:** anyways

** _14 november 2018, 8:23am_ **

** _spit dont swallow_ **

**arthur:** so how are we doing mr. “eliott likes lucille doesnt he?”

**lucas:** fuck off

**basile:** ouch

**arthur:** woa h

**arthur:** i was joking lulu relax

**lucas:** yeah im sorry

**yann:** …

**yann:** whats wrong bro

**arthur:** hey im sorry lu ok i didnt mean to

**lucas:** don’t be its not your fault lol im just lame

**basile:** hey we’re all lame

**yann:** tell us

**lucas:** what do u want me to say

**arthur:** whatevers on ur mind b

**lucas:** hmm lets see

**lucas:** oh i know

**lucas:** moving to australia for 2 years meant i could clear my head of things

**lucas:** and people

**lucas:** but yayyy now im back

**lucas:** meaning?

**lucas:** now i have to somehow be around mr flakey ass edward cullen lookin bitch without wanting to clock his face out

**arthur:** OOF

**yann:** MR FLAKEY ASS EDWARD CULLEN LOOKIN BITCH AHJFKHKDJSNJFHK

**lucas:** that was rude i dont even hate eliott that much im sorry i didnt mean tgat any of that

**basile:** u sure

**lucas:** yeah

**arthur:** lulu :(

**yann:** look lu

**yann:** i know considering ur history w eli its gonna be anythn but easy to be around him

**yann: **but idk maybe this can be a new chapter for u?

**yann:** its time u two put ur past behind and move on yeah?

**yann:** bc not a damn thing in the world can convince me that u two hate each other i dont buy it

**arthur:** wig

**basile:** i agree w yann lu

**arthur: **me too like u guys still are close friends whether u like it or not yk

**arthur: **like look at me

**arthur: **i hate baz w all my heart but he's still my bro

**basile: **wow

**lucas: **its not the same

**yann: **lucas

**lucas: **look ik what u mean and its not like i want to hate him yknow

**lucas: **but u know me getting over stuff takes me forever

**yann: **i know and thats okay

**yann:** im not telling u to not take ur time

**yann: **just that give it a chance

**yann: **werent u the one that always told me that before anything emma is my friend and i cant let that go?

**lucas: **yes but i was never dating eliott was i

**yann: **u know what i mean

**arthur: **yeah like u cant abandon ur friendship w him

**yann: **exactly its not worth it lu

**yann: **he may not be perfect but he's a decent dude yk

**lucas:** yeah

**lucas: **ill think abt it okay rn i just need to chill out take my time

**yann: **im w you

**basile: **yeah we're here for u bro

**lucas: **thanks u guys

**arthur: **love u lulu

** _the party, 14 november 2018, 10:31pm_ **

** _jerk_ **

**jerk:** where the fuck are you

**lucas:** remind me why you care?

**jerk:** i dont arthur’s being annoying

**lucas:** whatever

**lucas:** tell him im with christian

**jerk:** who’s christian

**lucas:** guy im seeing, arthur knows

**jerk:** guy youre seeing? poor christian :(

**lucas:** aw dont worry you’ve got lucille<3

**jerk:** when are u back

**lucas:** arthur didnt say that

**jerk:** why are you such a bitch answer my question

**lucas:** i dont know eliott, whenever we’re done

**jerk:** and how long is that

**lucas:** guess ill have to find out

** _14 november 2018, 10:36pm_ **

** _[arthur] calling_ **

** _[received]_ **

_ “arthur, hey” _

_ “fu- lucas, have you seen eliott?” _

_ “uh no, we were just texting, i thought he was with you? you oka-” _

_ “oh god” _

_ “what, arthur what happened?” _

_ “uh we were all hanging out and uh i may have accidentally ditched him and after i found him again he looked kinda sad fu- i don’t know i think he got lonely or something you know he doesn’t really have anyone else to hang out with and he was kinda tipsy too shit- and now god, i don’t know where he is lucas i ch-“ _

_ “wait wait wait, he just texted me asking where i was and said you told him to ask me?” _

_ “what? no i know you’re with christian, lucas i-“ _

_ “oh shit, look fuck, hey i’ll call you okay?” _

_ “what no don’t hang up what happ-” _

_ “just, give me a couple of minutes” _

_ “uh okay call me back as soon a-” _

** _[call ended, 47 seconds]_ **

** _14 november 2018, 10:38pm_ **

** _jerk_ **

**lucas:** where are you

**lucas:** eliott don’t ignore me tell me where you are

**lucas:** come the fuck online where are you

**jerk:** what do you wantf

**lucas:** god where are you

**jerk:** I don’t know how does it conernd you

**lucas:** what do you mean you don’t know

**jerk:** i don’t know harvard graduate what do u thikn

**lucas:** fuck you look around and tell me are you near yann’s house or not

**jerk:** i don’t know maybe christian knows

**lucas:** what the fuck are you on about how baked are you

**jerk:** fuck off lucasf

**jerk:** just fuck off leavem e alone

**lucas:** youre drunk as fuck just hold on

** _14 november 2018, 10:47pm_ **

** _calling [jerk]_ **

** _[you have reached voicem-]_ **

** _14 november 2018, 10:48pm_ **

** _calling [jerk]_ **

** _[you have rea-]_ **

** _14 november 2018, 10:49pm_ **

** _jerk_ **

**lucas:** did you block me

**lucas:** eliott this is nt funny

** _15 november 2018, 8:35am_ **

** _idriss_ **

**idriss: **eliott?

**idriss: **call me

**idriss:** whenever u can

**idriss:** or at least let me know where the fuck u are

**idriss:** we're worried sick

**eliott:** don't be, mom. surprisingly enough i can take care of myself

**idriss:** are u fucking joking

**eliott:** yeah im sorry

**idriss:** don't be

**idriss:** hungover?

**eliott:** like shit

**idriss:** send me your location ill pick u up

**eliott:** dont

**idriss:** what are u on abt eli

**eliott:** just give me a while ok ill be back before lunch i think ive embarassed myself enough

**idriss:** whatever u want bro im here

**eliott:** thanks

** _15 november 2018, 9:13am_ **

** _imane_ **

**imane: **so u wanna explain

**eliott: **tell lucas it doesnt matter

**imane: **eliott im trying rly hard not to snap first thing in the morning you know

**eliott: **...

**imane: **what? is only idriss supposed to be ur friend or

**eliott: **thanks but really imane i dont need u guys to babysit me one by one everytime i get shitfaced

**imane: **i was worried thats all

**eliott: **no thats not all you know what this is about

**eliott: **one time literally ONE TIME i drink during an episode and u guys have been overprotective ever since

**eliott: **its not that i dont appreciate it but im an adult okay

**eliott: **everything isnt an episode

**eliott: **just because im fuckin mental doesnt mean idunno wtf im doing

**imane: **woah look im really sorry you took it that way and tbh i dont blame u ik we've been a pain but

**imane: **please dont ever think we see u as any less of a person okay i didnt mean for it to come off like that

**imane: **you know how i get w this stuff im sorry i was just worried

**eliott: **no im the one thats sorry actually i didnt mean to sound ungrateful or anything

**imane: **lol this will go on forever yk

**eliott: **yeah lmao

**eliott: **thanks imane

**eliott: **i just need to get myself together

**imane: **dont thank me :) i hope u feel better

**eliott: **<3

** _15 november 2018, 7:04pm_ **

** _lucas_ **

**yann: **yo game night u down?

**lucas: **idk not feeling it rn

**yann: **u ok bro?

**lucas: **yeah just tired ig dont worry

**yann: **hmm okay but if u need smn im a phonecall away lu

**lucas: **thanks

** _15 november 2018, 7:04pm_ **

** _[jerk] calling_ **

** _[recieved]_ **

_"well,_ _someone_ _decided to unblock me, i see."_

_"what_ _are you talking about?"_

_ "doesn't matter." _

_ "right..." _

_ "and you're calling because...?" _

_ "can we talk?" _

_ "we're talking right now." _

_ "why do you have to make everything so difficult? i'm trying to be a decent person here." _

_ "yeah, you don't tend to do that often." _

_ "okay, you know what? forget about it." _

_ "wait, no. what is it?" _

_ "no, lucas. i'm not manic right now." _

_ "didn't say you were..." _

_ "i just wanted to uh... i don't know." _

_ "talk?" _

_ "we're talking right now." _

_ "shut up, i- what is it?" _

_ "nothing, can we uh, meet?" _

_ "like, right now?" _

_ "yeah, right now. unless you don't want to which i understand..." _

_ "no, it's uh- i don't mind. well, not like that. i just don't care." _

_ "yeah, of course. wouldn't wanna get the wrong idea and think you do." _

_ "relax, juliet. it's not that deep." _

_ "whatever. i'll pick you up in an hour." _

_ ""pick you up." what, have you finally decided to murder me and throw my body in the ocean?" _

_ "i was gonna suggest that we get something to eat but yours sounds much better." _

_ "fuck off. why can't you just talk and then leave or something?" _

_ "because... i don't fucking know, okay? just... god be a little cooperative for once, lucas." _

_ "fuck yourself, demaury. whatever don't waste too much of my time. i have a million books to study and papers to write." _

_ "yeah, yeah, lucas hawking-lallemant. don't worry about that." _

_ "whatever. don't be late." _

_ "never have been." _

** _[call ended, 4 minutes 13 seconds.]_ **

**_15 november 2018, 7:11pm_ **

** _chris_ **

**lucas: ** hey 

**chris: **hey there<3

**lucas: **so i dont mean to sound flakey but i think im just gonna study for a bit and then pass out

**chris: **hey u dont have to explain yourself like that

**chris: **see u tomorrow then?

**lucas: **yeah of course

**chris: **<33

**lucas:** :)

** _15 november 2018, 7:12pm_ **

** _[jerk] calling_ **

** _[recieved]_ **

_"why_ _can't you just text? fuck."_

_ "don't be a bitch, lucas. i know ignoring me is your favourite sport." _

_ "oh, look! you do know something about me!" _

_ "shut up. i'm right outside." _

_ "uh... you said you'd be here in an hour? did you forget how to count or...?" _

_"god, you're the most annoying person i know. so what, i'm early. just hurry up." _

_ "it's been less than 15 minutes?" _

_ "will you come?" _

_ "fuck! okay, whatever. give me 10." _

_ "hurry." _

** _[call ended, 1 minute 3 seconds.]_ **

An odd feeling settles in the pit of Lucas' stomach. It's not that he doesn't know what it is. He's well aware, actually.

_ "I don't even understand why you're reacting this way. It's not like we're dating." _

_ "You're really this thick-skinned, aren't you?" _

_ "Lucas, I don't mean to say it this way, but I don't owe you shit." _

_ "Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry." _

Scratch that. He's _ awfully _ aware. Of why there's a whirlpool of anxiety growing in the bottom of his stomach, of the constant thrumming in his chest, and the blood rushing to his head - making him want to throw up. _ Eliott. _ He knows that he can claim his hatred for said man as many times as he pleases, but just the thought of his name makes his legs go weak. Whether that comes from the fact that he hasn't properly _ consciously _ faced Eliott since their fight from two years ago, or that he _ still feels the same. _

But, he doesn't even know what that means anymore.

He throws his grey hoodie over his tomato soup-stained t-shirt and a pair of jeans to go with it.

A part of him wants to crawl into a hole and die but another part is screaming _ "don't give him the satisfaction." _ Sometimes Lucas wonders if Eliott really does hate him that much or if it's something he's made up. He decides he doesn't care. He decides he doesn't _ want _to care.

Or give himself hopes that are way too high. He does that often.

** _15 november 2018, 7:23pm_ **

** _jerk_ **

**jerk: **u done, cinderella?

**lucas: **fuck off

**jerk: **i know politeness is a foreign term to you, but try, yeah?

**lucas: **i have no interest in being polite with you dickwad

**jerk: **whatevr hurry up its cold

**lucas: **dont get ur dick hard over snow, demaury

**jerk: **hahahahahha funny

**lucas: **aw did i offend u

**jerk: **shut ur hole and hurry up

He still thinks if it's too late to abort mission. Fuck, he should've agreed to go to Yann's.

Lucas sighs it off. Puts on his least favourite pair of shoes and decides that he's ready to face the drama queen that is Eliott Demaury.

_ "Excuse me, Lucas, but if there's one person who fits the title of 'drama queen' the best it's, without a second of doubt, you." _

_ "Fuck you!" _

_ "Well, there we go, babe." _

Lucas catches himself smiling and immediately thinks, _ 'No, no, no. Unacceptable. Don't do it.' _He shakes his head, takes a deep breath and leaves his dorm.

As he runs down the stairs, a strong gust of wind hits his face. _ Fuck, he wasn't kidding. _ He slows down his pace to debate with himself on whether he should run upstairs and grab another jacket but he settles against it because he doesn't have the energy to a) listen to any more of Eliott's whining b) run all the way up, honestly, it's 7pm on a Thursday and a boy is _ tired. _

So he runs down, slowly, but surely. His heart does an Arabian Double half-out somersault - no exaggeration, thank you very much. But his heart thumps hard against his chest almost immediately as his eyes lay on the tall boy leaning against the garden railing opposite to his dormitory.

"Aren't you quick?" Eliott says, sliding his phone in his pocket.

"Always for you, Demaury." scoffs Lucas, stuffing his hands in his hoodie's pockets, trying to not be too obvious about the fact that he's _ freezing. _Eliott bends down to reach for his backpack and takes out a small flask before tossing it over to Lucas.

"What's this? Rat poison?" Lucas says, catching the flask.

"Shit, you're too smart." Eliott fakes a gasp, "Come on." He adds, walking on.

"I'm not drinking boiled Gatorade if that's your idea of trying to be a decent person." Lucas says, joining Eliott and walking side-by-side as he attempts to open the flask.

"God, I really do wish I had mixed some rat poison in that," Eliott groans and drapes his backpack on his shoulder, "Shut up and drink, will you?" he says. Lucas squints his eyes and opens the flask. _ Hot chocolate. Boiling hot - how he likes it. _ A very big part of brain is flooding with _ Whys _ and _ Whats _ but another is just... quiet. And confused. _ Very _ confused.

_ "Boiling hot? Who likes boiling hot chocolate, Lucas?" _

_ "Biology students, apparently." _

_ "You're all psychos then?" _

_ "Look, it's super cold, I feel sick and I need it to survive the night. I'll pay you back as soon as I can, okay?" _

_ "I don't care about the money. Your wish is my command, baby." _

"Uh, okay? What's this about?" he asks.

"It's cold and it's part of my..." Eliott starts and fumbles, looking away, "Uh, apology." He finishes.

"Apology? Since when do _ you _ apologize, Demaury?" Lucas almost laughs, taking a sip from his _ really delicious _hot chocolate.

"Honestly, you make me sound like a much worse person than I am." Eliott groans.

"Well, at least you're aware that you are a pretty shitty person." grumbles the shorter boy.

"More than." laughs Eliott. But it's not a sarcastic laugh. Or the cocky one that Lucas is used to. It's... a sad laugh. A guilty laugh. A _ pained _laugh. Like there's words that Eliott wants to speak but has decided against it and is suppressing them into this laugh. Suddenly, a wave of guilt washes over him. He clears his throat and quickly changes the topic.

"So, you buy me coffee from the Caf and call it an apology. What did I miss?" He says. Eliott chuckles, a playful one this time. _ Thank God. _

"You're an idiot." He says.

"Takes one to know one." Lucas replies, almost immediately like a child.

"At least you're self-aware." Eliott quotes Lucas. The latter gives him the finger.

"Where are you taking me, Demaury?" He finally asks when he realizes they're just pointlessly walking around the campus.

"Patience." Eliott simply says.

_ "Patience, Lucas. This is supposed to be a surprise!" _

_ "Eliott, you know I hate surprises." _

_ "Not when they're from me." _

_ "Maybe." _

"Right." Lucas says, suddenly feeling anxious again and drinking his beverage away.

The sun had almost disappeared. The winds slowed down and the students disappeared one by one - to their dorms, the cafeteria, and the library. Lucas and Eliott slowly walked on in the silent campus. After Lucas had finished chugging down the hot chocolate, he played around with the tip of the flask as he walked next to Eliott who was... quiet. He couldn't figure out if he was thinking or if he really was as calm as he seemed.

"I missed you." Eliott says.

Lucas' heart drops to the bottom of his chest and he feels like someone's wrapped a string of barbed wires around his neck. All the anxiety that had taken its time to build in the pit of his stomach had started to flow through his body like a waterfall.

"Don't." He says, stopping in his tracks unknowingly.

"Don't what-"

"Pretend."

"Lucas, I'm not..."

"Stop that. Is this why you asked me to come? Because I'm gonna go."

"No. That's not- Lucas, can you just..." Eliott protests and walks towards Lucas who slowly steps back.

"I'm gonna-" Lucas starts.

"Okay, I'm sorry. That's all. That's all I wanted to say. I'm sorry. I'm really _ terribly _sorry, okay? For so many things. I know you wanna do anything but have this conversation right now - fuck, I know you wanna do anything but see me right now but, I just need to apologize. For everything. I'm not asking for anything. I know I don't get to say this right now. I know I don't deserve closure or whatever but, nevermind the fact that I ruined everything before you left, but even after, I've been nothing but a pain in the ass. Now you're back and it's barely been 2 days and here I am, already ruining everything. So I'm sorry. About 2 years ago. About the time you were away. About last night. About right now. About everything. I'm just... fuck. I'm sorry. I'm gonna, uh go." Eliott's voice cracks and he stumbles and walks away.

Lucas stands right there. Not budging. Mouth slightly open in disbelief and confusion. He knows Eliott. He knows he had probably practiced that a million times and felt too embarrassed. He knows that as flakey as he is, he meant every single word. And now he's gone. Again. God knows where. Eliott was like a wave. One second he's here, and the next he's gone. One second he's relaxed, and the next he's loud, heavy, destructive and messy.

Lucas has never felt more lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a messy and short chapter because i was... emotional. i promise it'll get better!! not just the fic lol but also the formatting and shit. shitty for the first chapter but..... i'm new ok please be gentle<3


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